I feel like I need more support at university

Our agony aunt Mary Fenwick offers a different perspective on whatever is troubling you

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I feel like I need more support at university

At the start of last year, I thought I had everything; I’m in the middle of my degree I was in a relationship that had lasted a year (my longest), and everything was going well. Then the relationship started to plummet, my depression kicked in, and when university broke up, so did we. When university started back I thought I’d found my feet again, but when my ex-boyfriend started contacting me I started to spiral again, and became obsessive over him, thinking we were going to get back together. A couple of months into regular phone calls, texts and three-hour Facetime sessions I found out he had a girlfriend, and had done for a while. Over the Christmas break, we ended up getting intimate on Facetime, but since then he’s completely blanked me. I can’t stop obsessing. I don’t know how to move on. Please help me, as I’m feeling worse than ever, and I'm on my own now at university. Name supplied

No matter how bad it feels, please remember that you are not on your own, and many people do care about your welfare, not least your university. They have a duty of care towards you, both legally and in the sense that this support is part of what you pay fees for.

The key thing is for you to tell at least one person how you are feeling. That might be your parents, your university counselling service, a friend or an anonymous and confidential listening service such as Samaritans.

According to the student-run service, Nightline, up to 75 per cent of students experience some degree of psychological distress while at university, and it will often be at night when other services are closed. Please check whether Nightline applies to your university – it might be particularly helpful for you to speak to a fellow student; some are also set up for emails, instant messages and texts.

Thank you for reminding us all – whether parents, students or friends – that our precious young people need support.

More inspiration:

FIND SUPPORT if you are suffering from distress at university at nightline.ac.uk/

Mary Fenwick is a business coach, journalist, fundraiser, mother, divorcée and widow. Follow Mary on Twitter @MJFenwick. Got a question for Mary? Email mary@psychologies.co.uk, with ‘MARY’ in the subject line

Photograph: iStock

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