What happens if I fail my degree?

Our agony aunt Mary Fenwick offers a new perspective on whatever is troubling you

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I failed my degree. How do I move on with my life?

Iโ€™ve recently turned 23 and have just failed university. I am back living with my parents and working as a sales assistant. When I look at all my friends who have recently graduated and are now working in pretty great jobs, I canโ€™t help but feel like a failure. Iโ€™ve spent three years of my life working towards a degree, but I have nothing to show for it. What happens if I fail my degree? What can I do to make me feel like my life is back on track and is actually going somewhere? Name supplied

Welcome to my world!

By many standards I am a failure โ€“ in Jane Austenโ€™s time, Iโ€™d have failed due to my lack of accomplishment in painting, music and needlework.

In a 21st-century life where I am warm and well-fed, I have not cracked the challenge of keeping pairs of socks together in the wash, and had a car engine blow up on me due to lack of oil โ€“ more than once!

We live in a culture where โ€˜what do you do?โ€™ is an acceptable question, but it is incredibly, ridiculously limited. All of us are much, much more than a job title or a set of academic achievements. You have great foundations with your health, parents and friends who love and support you, and proof of employability.

A useful question to ask people who love their jobs, is โ€˜how did you get to where you are?โ€™ This should open up lots of infectiously enthusiastic conversations and ways of seeing new pathways. University did not ignite your spark, but that could be interpreted as a failure of the university, not you. I recommend watching Steve Jobsโ€™ address to students at Stanford University about not being in too much of a hurry to join the dots (see below).

Meanwhile congratulations on being off-track. Itโ€™s where all the interesting people hang out.

Mary Fenwick is a business coach, journalist, fundraiser, mother, divorcรฉe and widow. GOT A QUESTION FOR MARY? Email mary@psychologies.co.uk, with โ€˜MARYโ€™ in the subject line

More inspiration:

Watch Steve Jobsโ€™ Stanford Commencement Speech 2005:

 

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