For the last few years I’ve been studying everything about the feminine cycle.
I’ve always hated my cycle. I’ve always thought that being a woman was a disadvantage, after all we are the ones who have to deal with PMS, period pain, hormonal changes, not to mention pregnancy and giving birth!
I spent years on the pill, numbing all the symptoms (not healing them) without knowing anything about its harmful effects (did you know what the pill actually does is switching off your hormones so you don’t ovulate?)
Being in touch with my feminine side was uncomfortable. I always preferred to hang out with guys and trying to ‘be a man’ was very useful in the corporate world where I worked for many years.
Eventually I decided to get off the pill, but of course the symptoms like painful periods came back. So I replaced the pill with painkillers.
After studying how physical symptoms can appear in the body due to unresolved emotional issues, I started to pay attention to them. If we ignore our emotions, our body will try to get our attention in the form of symptoms and diseases. Like when you work non-stop for weeks and eventually you get sick, that’s the way your body is telling you to stop.
So I started working on bringing some unconscious beliefs to the surface – ‘I hate being a woman’, ‘I wish I were a man, everything would be easier’. No wonder my periods hurt, they were a monthly reminder of something I hated!
Now I know that the main problem around the feminine cycle is the lack of information about it.
Think about the day you got your first period. What were you told about it? Was it celebrated? I remember my grandma saying ‘Oh no, poor girl, it’s so bad she got it so early’.
The first thing I learnt about my period is that it was a burden and that it will hurt for the rest of my life. I felt like something terrible had happened to me. And I know I’m not the only one, because it’s a cultural thing.
I only started learning about women’s cycle when I was 30, 18 years after my first period!!!!!!!
Now I understand that the changes our body, mood and energy experience throughout the cycle are not a negative thing, they’re just part of our cyclical nature. When you understand what’s going on inside yourself your cycle can become a tool to improve your performance well-being and happiness!
So let me tell you the main things you need to know about your cycle that will change your life:
1.During every cycle, we go through changes that can impact our body, energy and mood in a similar way.
Think about the seasons. Every year, there are four seasons (unless you’re lucky enough to live in a tropical country!). They repeat year after year. It doesn’t mean that every spring is the same or every winter is the same, some are colder, shorter or wetter depending on the year.
But the seasons merge into each other and they follow the same pattern every year.
It’s the same with our ‘inner seasons’. During our cycle, some days we feel energised and confident, whereas other days we just feel like being on our own or daydreaming.
Our hormones (assuming a natural cycle and no health conditions) follow the same pattern every month. This doesn’t have the same impact on every woman, but you will probably notice the way you feel and behave follows a similar pattern every cycle.
2.When you track your cycle you will realise that some patterns repeat for you every month, that information is gold!
Tracking their cycle is something that every woman should do. Honestly this information is pure gold.
Choose the format that it’s easier for you (notebook, spreadsheet, diary). Write down the day of your cycle (day 1 would be the day you get your period) and as much information as possible, for example:
- Energy levels
- How you feel
- What you feel like eating
- What you feel like doing
- How you slept / what dreams you had
- What tasks you did with ease or struggled with
- Sex drive
- Do you feel like socialising or being on your own
Do it for a few months and you will be surprised at what you see. When you understand your patterns, you can basically ‘predict’ certain changes and use them in your favour.
3.You can use your cycle to optimise your performance, wellbeing and happiness
When you understand your cyclical nature you can plan your life around it instead of trying to fight it.
Same as you know you will probably feel like spending more time at home during the winter when it’s cold and you plan your holidays for the summer when you the weather will be great, you can plan certain activities around your cycle.
For example, the days before and during our period our energy levels decrease. We tend to feel more like being on our own and sleeping more. So I don’t fit a lot of social meeting around those days, because I know I’m not going to enjoy that much!
The days before ovulation our energy peaks, so if I have an important project I work longer hours this week because I know I’m going to be focused and motivated, so I save the most important or demanding tasks for this week.
These are just examples that work for me, but the key here is that you get to understand your own cycle so you can flow with it.
When you flow with your cycle, you can even decrease symptoms like PMS. One of the reasons we have PMS (again, assuming no health conditions) is that we don’t respect the changes in our energy and try to keep going like nothing happened, and of course our body is not happy about it!
The week before our period our energy decreases and naturally we want to be more ‘inwards’.
But because the world we live in only values the ‘doing/being busy/ticking boxes’, we fight our cyclical nature and just have an extra coffee to keep going. No wonder our body screams ‘STOP!’
4.There are no positive or negative parts of the cycle
Generally speaking, there is one half of the cycle where our energy increases until it peaks in ovulation and the other half we notice a decrease in energy and a tendency to want to spend more time on our own.
The main problem is that everyone loves the first half because it’s what’s accepted and valued by society – doing, doing, doing.
Unfortunately, the other half, which is more about being is not that appreciated.
This is a shame, because during these days we are more connected with our intuition, it’s a great time to reflect on what’s working and what isn’t for us, and it’s a time to cleanse and let go of what we no longer need so we can start a new cycle with fresh energy.
I went from hating the days around my period to looking forward to these days because I now if I allow myself to rest and be quiet, I can get so much clarity, so many ideas and so much inspiration!
Understanding and embracing my cycle was a game changer for me in terms of well-being and fulfillment and I teach this in my coaching programs because I know embracing our cycle is key to feeling empowered and fulfilled. I hope this article helps you see your cycle through a different lens.
If this article spoke to you, my online course ‘Awaken Your Inner Power – The Feminine Way’ includes many similar tools, video explanations and guided visualisations, check it out here!
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