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Is your inner voice a bully?

The cupboard under the stairs, the ‘wo/man’ drawer and the garage all have this in common. They are trusted to look after anything we can’t find a place for, we chuck it in and leave it until it’s a big mess and eventually after months/ years of procrastination we are forced to clear it out. 

When we trawl through our belongings we will find some:

  • buried treasure that we are happy to keep
  • broken items which we’re not sure why we didn’t just throw out in the first place
  • things we don’t remember buying 
  • things that make us question our taste
  • things someone else has snuck in there without us knowing

Once we have done the dreaded task we wish we would have done it sooner. We are proud and ready to show everyone our handy work. 

What if I told you our minds are exactly the same? 

Our minds are an endless space that have been filled in the exact same way and isn’t it time for us to clear it out and make sure everything in there is useful? 

If we don’t spend time to spring clean our mind how do we know what’s in there influencing us?  Is it things that are helping us, things others have planted or even things that hold us back?

A classic example is telling yourself ‘I am not good with numbers’ something a flippant teacher said when you were 10. Even though there is evidence that you are good with numbers i.e. managing your personal budget to running a household or business, you still tell yourself you’re no good with numbers. What is this stopping you from achieving?

Our little voice is unique to us and is influencing us 24/7, if it is not your cheerleader then it could be stopping you from pushing forward and achieving your ambitions. 

Most people don’t question their little voice and take everything it says as fact. If our little voice is bullying us there is no escape or solution apart from us taking it on, head first.  

What can we do?

We can whip that voice into shape by:

  • listening to it and consciously hearing what it is saying in different situations– is it positive or negative.
  • If it’s positive great, if it’s negative and telling you, “you can’t do that”, look for all the evidence that you can do it.
  • Confront and challenge what that voice is saying – either reframe negative comments into positive statements or commit to chucking it away!

Just being aware of your voice is the biggest part of the battle. You may find that you are still telling yourself the same negative messages but you are aware and over time you will be able to take charge! 

Remember you have been telling yourself these messages for years so be kind to yourself as you change for the better.  

Once you take charge of how you speak to yourself, you will see things start to change around you, so prioritise yourself today and start your journey. 

Laura Alfred

Laura Alfred

Mindset coach