I feel like I’m losing my best friend and I don’t know what’s changed

Our agony aunt Mary Fenwick offers some words of wisdom on whatever is troubling you


I feel like I’m losing my best friend and I don’t know what’s changed

My best friend seems to have lost interest in me in recent times. She’ll still see me when we meet in groups and is very pleasant, but it’s as if the connection we had has been lost somehow, although I don’t feel it’s a natural evolution of our friendship. We were always so close but it’s as if overnight, she decided to stop making any effort with me. It feels like we are more acquaintances than friends all of a sudden and I don’t know why. Name supplied

The quickest route to finding out why would be to say to your friend more or less exactly what you’ve written here: ‘the connection feels different and I miss you, what’s going on from your point of view?’

If that’s a bit too direct, then I invite you to think about this as if she is still your friend, rather than assuming the worst. It could be that you are misinterpreting what is going on and, for some reason, she has the idea that it’s you who has changed.

It could be that she is distracted by something in her life that she doesn’t want to talk to anyone about just yet, or perhaps she just wants a break from the intensity of a ‘best friend’ relationship. Sometimes we need our friends to remind and encourage us to act as our best selves – maybe you can do that for her.

Mary Fenwick is a business coach, journalist, fundraiser, mother, divorcée and widow. Follow Mary on Twitter @MJFenwick. Got a question for Mary? Email mary@psychologies.co.uk, with ‘MARY’ in the subject line

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