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5 Steps to get what you want?

I have a question for you. It's only four small words… WHAT - DO - YOU - WANT – but it's incredibly powerful.

I have a question for you. It’s only four small words… what do you want – but it’s incredibly powerful.

What Do You Want?

Don’t be fooled by the apparent simplicity of this question.

In reality, it’s tougher than it looks! That’s because What You Want is the very foundation of everything you get in your life.

Having had a moment to think about the question, what do you want now?

Here’s how WANTS and DESIRES work

When I look at where I am now and consider how I got here, I recall the dreams I had and the plans that I made.

I made wishes, and they came true. 

Each time I knew what it was that I wanted, I got it, exactly. Where things went awry is when I focused on what I didn’t want. Focussing on the things in my life that I was trying to move away from, actually had the opposite effect. Those thoughts kept me tied and locked in.

What if you don’t get what you want? Or you get it and don’t like it?

I’ve had to course-correct on more than a few occasions. My dream of living in a big house with a private garden, close to a motorway network, and within walking distance of a town that had shops, bars, and restaurants has had a few hiccups. We got waylaid in a lovely big house that had a private garden and was close to a motorway network, but that house didn’t feed my soul. I knew that I needed to tweak my vision, so added in more about the community our new home would be in, and that’s how we found ourselves here.

It’s a fact that you will have to course-correct because you got what you think you wanted only realise that it’s not what you wanted after all. You’ll refine your vision based on feedback, much like a plane corrects its course from feedback received on its position, you do the same with your wants and desires.

Specificity is the key to getting what you want. Lack of specificity is like going to the supermarket and walking around picking up random items. You may or may not get what you need for the recipe you’re cooking tonight.

How do you know if it’s what YOU want, rather than what someone else wants?

Oftentimes we ask for what others want for us, then we get it, then we feel unhappy, stressed, unfulfilled. We think we are the problem or that there’s something wrong with us. In fact that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s the thing that’s not in alignment with us. THAT is what’s wrong or disconnected, hence we feel unhappy, unfulfilled, stressed.

You can go for years (even a lifetime) not realising that you’re living someone else’s life.

If you want to know what YOU really want, and who the real you is, then I recommend a series of exercises to help you find out.

Spend time thinking back to your childhood. Here are some questions to help you:

  1. What made you happy?
  2. What made you laugh?
  3. What dreams did you have?
  4. What job did you think you’d do when you grew up?
  5. What came naturally to you?

Write notes, create images, speak aloud to yourself. Meditation really helps with this process too. My favourite app for meditation is Insight Timer Click HERE to learn more about it and download it for free.

Journaling to uncover who you are

Another way to uncover what you want is to look at who you are. One way of exploring this is to journal. I have to say, I don’t particularly enjoy the process of journaling. I’ve noticed that journaling is a way for some people avoid doing the work. Instead, they see it as a wonderful way to wallow in long gone pity parties from the past, and as you know, I’m all about the NOW and the positive changes you can make in your life. However, when journaling is used to clear mental clutter, it can be incredibly liberating and immensely powerful. So I urge you to try it! Get everything out of your head, and onto paper. Keep writing when you think there’s nothing else to say, and boom, breakthroughs!

As a side note, I’ve noticed that the more creative you are the more you’re likely to find journaling enjoyable. 

The secret to creating the life you really want; the first step, is to ask yourself “what do I want?”

Tell me in the comments below what you discovered (or uncovered) about the real you from the exercises above and if you have been able to uncover the answer to the original question: what do you want?

Are you a business owner with a spiritual side? If so, I’d love you to join my new community for wealthy, successful, spiritual business owners. Click HERE to join.

Jane Rapin ACC

Jane Rapin ACC

Business & Personal Coach | Lawyer

I help professionals to reach their full potential. Starting a business takes guts. Get it off to the best start with my unique blend of coaching, commercially focussed strategy and targeted mindset work. I’ll help you get out of your own way, overcome self-doubt and dispel negativity. The result? You have more fun doing what you love. I work internationally and locally, across a broad range of industries. In addition to being a certified business and personal coach, I'm also a certified Tapping Into Wealth Transformational Coach. I've been coaching and mentoring for over 25 years, helping employees and business owners across a wide range of sectors including law, project management, engineering, retail, leisure, insurance, government initiatives to help the long-term unemployed, NHS and more. If you'd like to find out more about how I can help you, please feel free to contact me via the links here in my profile or via my website ( I can't wait to help you!

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