Are you a selfish lover: what your score says about you as a couple

So, you've done our quiz to see what kind of lover you are, and got your partner to do it too. But what do your results mean for you as a pair? By Alain Héril


Are you a selfish lover: what your score says about you as a couple

Giver + sharer = a hidden bonus

There's a plus side to your relationship – one of you gives and the other receives, but the one who receives can also give. Each of you knows you will be happy in the relationship because you have a fulfilling sex life. Be careful not to play down your partner's role. To grow as a couple, pay attention to each other's desires. The good news is that if you are together now, it means you have already learned to do this.

Giver + giver = who receives?

The main question in your relationship is 'who should take?' You are both so generous  that you run the risk of not being able to explore the complementary parts of your personalities. You are very alike, but this mirror effect can mean that oy lost sight of the other person. You will have to work at being able to take without feeling that your offer to give has been rejected. But how do you learn this? Get in touch with the need to open yourself up to someone else's tenderness, it exists in all of us from the moment we are born.

Giver + receiver = a perfect balance

This relationship appears to provide the perfect balance. When one gives, the other receives. You soon learn what each other likes because you complement each other perfectly. But don't get too stuck in these roles either. Couples can evolve, and the functions that each partner performs can change. The risk is that you will rest on your laurels. Be inventive, look for new ways of doing things – meet each other half way and experiment. You will only fall more deeply in love and become even more creative.

Receiver + receiver = take at all costs

Take, take, take – that's your motto! But you need a giver if you're going to be able to take. You are so similar that you're always waiting on the other partner to take the lead, so it becomes difficult to instigate anything at all. You understand what your partner wants, but you can't provide it. You need to learn to give graciously, but you need to work at it and not play games. Practise giving as often as you can. You'll be surprised at how pleasurable it can be.

Receiver + sharer = a promise kept

One of you wants to take, so it follows that the other one should give. And as the other partner wants to share, which can include giving, everything should run smoothly between you. It's as if there's a continual promise of sexual excitement between you. You are open to new experiences and you are both happy to fulfil each other's fantasies. To keep moving forward as a couple, the person who prefers to receive also needs to learn how to give. That way you'll both be able to keep all your promises.

Two sharers = the sky's the limit

There are four of you in your relationship – which is why you're so compatible. If you meet each other's desires equally, your sex life will be long-lasting and exciting. Continue like this and you could have a charmed future. You could experiment by taking on the role of giver, and your partner that of receiver. Explore all the possibilities. What you've got is really good, and you can work towards soemthing even better.

Photograph: iStock