How to turn up to a party on your own

1. Make a plan

Find out who else is attending the event. Contact someone you’d like to meet ahead of time and say you’re looking forward to seeing them there. Even if you don’t know them, you can still drop them a quick email beforehand.

2. Be Prepared 

Think about some burning questions you want to ask the person, or a few things you have in common that you could talk about. Preparation reduces stress. Now you’ve already got at least one person who is expecting you, and you’ve prepared what you might talk about. Of course it’s not set in stone, but it gives you direction. It’s the undirectedness of small talk that can create stress.

3. Utilise the host 

Once at the party, ask the host to introduce you to someone you like the look of or have heard about. This is a safe way to create a contact, and the other person will feel flattered to have been approached by the host, who can act as a bridge between the two of you.

4. Share friends 

If you do know other people at the party, offer to introduce someone you’ve just met to another person who you think they’d find interesting. That puts you at the centre of social interaction, and you’re doing something nice for someone else, too. 5Kno w ho w to ta ke YOUR leave Simply say ‘it’s been so interesting talking to you, I’m sure I’ll bump into you again later’. Never excuse yourself by going to the bathroom or the bar because the person may wait for you, or worse, follow you!

Photograph: iStock