Can a child with ADHD lead a normal life?
Our agony aunt, Mary Fenwick, reassures a mother whose child has been diagnosed with ADHD...
If your child has recently been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), your mind might be immediately jumping ahead and wondering what this could mean for their life in the future. Our agony aunt, Mary Fenwick offers her advice to one woman who asks: can a child with ADHD lead a normal life?
Can a child with ADHD lead a normal life?
‘My daughter has self-diagnosed with ADHD. She believes it would explain a lot about her behaviour and struggles, which have been put down to anxiety. She is asking for my support in seeking a formal diagnosis, which means seeing a psychiatrist. Iโm worried that having this label might have a negative impact on her life. What do you think?’ (Helen, 54)
Mary’s advice for dealing with a child’s ADHD diagnosis:
If we hear anything about ADHD, itโs usually a young boy who canโt sit still. That prevailing image means it can take longer to recognise ADHD in girls, but doesnโt mean it doesnโt exist. Frequently, women diagnosed in adulthood feel huge relief.
Signs of ADHD in girls and women:
Girls with ADHD tend to be inattentive rather than hyperactive. This means parents, teachers and even some medical professionals might not know what to look for. The difficulties with focus could manifest as daydreaming, zoning out or being labelled โthe chatty oneโ.
For your daughter, this might mean feeling misunderstood and anxious and having low self-esteem. Psychotherapist Leah Leaves learned that she had ADHD at the age of 43. She had always struggled to be tidy and organised: โWithout a different explanation, I turned it in on myself and believed I was lazy, fickle and useless.โ
She has set up a support group for women diagnosed as adults. My own family has been on a similar learning path, and Iโve found great resources โ not least to help with my guilt for not picking up on it earlier. The online magazine ADDitude has helped my understanding immensely, and so many things that weโd thought of as personality traits fell into place.
Treatments for ADHD
Treatment options include medication or behavioural therapy. Your daughter might have already experienced these for her anxiety, although these would have been aimed at the wrong target. Ask your GP if she can be assessed through the NHS Right to Choose. This allows you to pick a psychiatrist and doesnโt necessarily slow things down.
Both you and your daughter will find many similar stories of late diagnosis in Understanding ADHD In Girls And Women by Joanne Steer (Jessica Kingsley, ยฃ19.99).
Will ADHD affect my child’s future career?
Rather than holding them back or negatively impacting their career, ADHD can in fact help some people to thrive in their chosen field. Typical ADHD traits, such as enthusiasm, creativity and the ability to be hyperfocused can be a tremendous asset in working life. All are easier to harness once you know whatโs going on. So, getting a formal diagnosis and professional guidance is key.
Mary Fenwick is a writer, speaker and executive coach; sheโs also a mother, divorcee and widow. For more about Maryโs work in leadership and team coaching, her โWriting Back to Happinessโ programme and free resources, go to maryfenwick.com.