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Challenging People or Challenging behaviours?

The person is not their behaviour. Behind every behaviour is a positive intention - A presuppposition of NLP

Sharing my thought-provoking creative writing in the hope it may facilitate deeper thinking and understanding around people and their behaviour.

Planting the seed of thought of how beneficial it might be to not identify behaviours with the “I am”, as behaviour can so often be played out from thoughts, feelings and an emotional process, rather than from a true identity, our true essence within.

A lot of stories behind misbehaviour would not make you respond negatively, but rather would actually break your heart.

I like people, people like you, people like me,
I know some people, who don’t like people,

As there are all types of people, many with challenging behaviours,
They can be annoying, stupid, rude and sometimes even downright obnoxious.
And they can be sweet, wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving, compassionate.
But is that just my personal perspective and perception of those people,
would other people think the same, as I do, about those particular people?

And is that not just the behaviour of people,
in people like you, in people like me,
and behaviour, well…. that’s just behaviour.
but would you agree that behaviour may not be the person?
but maybe simply learnt by the person, from an intention,
in a bid to survive physically and/or emotionally.

And yes, well ok, we may not like some people’s behaviours,
Those borne out of negative thought patterns,
suppressed painful emotions and fear,
but this is not the true essence of people.

I like the true essence of people, humankind people,
I just don’t like some behaviours,
But I know people self-sabotage,
from a deep fear of some kind
People oppressed, or with repressed, suppressed emotions
can be defensive people or insecure people.

Having suppressed emotional pain of trauma,
some people come with melodrama,
in an attempt to hide the pain of what is really going on.
People are masters of self-deception.
Sometimes, they don’t even realise their own insecurity or fear
as they have embedded it within them so deep.

But still, when all is said and done, I like people,
Creative people, innovate people,
Uniqueness of people, talents of people,
Funny people, super powered people,
People like you, people like me.
How interesting we people are?
Would you agree?
People with heart, empathic people
psychotic people, neurotic people
manipulative people, perfectionist people
controlling people, hot tempered people
pleaser people, kind people
restless people, sympathetic people.

Yes people can have all of these types of learnt nurtured behaviours
way beyond blueprint, nature and temperament
from experience, people are quite the experiment.

I hear you say; ‘how can you like those sort of people?,
But I ask, what sort of people am I?
and what made me that sort of people?
And really who am I to judge any sort of people?.
I have not walked a mile in their shoes.

I just like people, people inspire me, always have,
they interest me, now with a curiosity
a sense of awe, wonder, openness and non-judgementally,
because fundamentally, our world, our environment
can mould people into how they seem, how they behave
we don’t exactly choose which environment we’re born into.

with all its surrounding people, culture, religions
positions, conditions, traditions,
all striving to survive, physically and emotionally,
within these systems, can we always all thrive socially,
with our perceived notions, thoughts, beliefs,
nuances, idiosyncrasies, unemotional sociopath
or over emotional tendencies.

How much is learnt in the growing up process?
In a world full of fears, sights, sounds, criticism
judgements, blame, perceptions, empiricism
People’s preconceptions, misconceptions,
of people like you, people like me,

We all have a story behind our behaviours but
would life be boring without people, and
if we were all the same,
I truly believe in the world in which we live,
we need more unconditional love, compassion and empathy,
Would you agree?
I now know its starts with the person in the mirror.

Even though we don’t like how people behave or what they say, or do
Do you think it would be of benefit to separate behaviours from the people,
respect each other for making it this far in a world full of;
judgement, uncertainty, anxiety, progress and fear.

Let’s bring more love from our hearts onto people,
as we all need more love to thrive,
And as the saying goes,
those who are most difficult to love need the most love.

So yes, I like all people, they inspire me,
people like you, people like me.

Patricia Ahern

Patricia Ahern

Mental Fitness and Self Love Coach

About me and my self love journey I love creativity I Love writing I love singing I love curiosity, wonder and awe I Love my inner child, who reminds me how wonderful life is I Love my wise elder self, who spurs me on into my dream future I Love working on my mental fitness and positive emotional intelligence which I have learnt is the essence of a successful, happy and fulfilled life. I grew into my self love – I created it, and I have to build on it every day with mindfulness, meditation, positive affirmations, creative writing, my story is a life commitment and a work in progress and always will be but it is an enjoyable and rewarding one. I love helping young professional women write their story, growing and nurturing their creativity to live their best lives, being the best version of themselves they wish to me, growing from a deeper sense of self-love within. Do you feel like your life is a roller coaster of emotions? Currently, your inner judge/self-critic, beats you up, and you wake in the middle of the night worrying about what happened, and what may happen tomorrow, with a sense of overwhelm, fear and unease, have you lost yourself in the depths of your busy noisy life….. Do you feel you are living a life story with old beliefs and thoughts patterns creating the same patterns of negative behaviour and problems in your life? Perhaps with tendencies like for perfectionism, people pleasing, imposter syndrome? Now…. Imagine a path of ease and flow, with a sense of calm in your life, where you are in control of your emotions and emotional responses, you’re resourceful, you’re positive, solution focused, with complete clarity for action, with a positive mindset and attitude, mentally fit and resilient and prepared for whatever life throws at you. Do you long for this type of ease and flow life? Are you ready to take positive control and ownership of your life and start writing your own story? I help facilitate the creating of this path for women in their 30’s to 40’s who feel they are ready to find that path back to their true authentic self, with a true deep sense of self-worth, self-value, and most of all self-love. I do this by helping you to build on skills, most of us don’t learn in school or in our younger life; with emotional and positive intelligence for transformational sustainable change with Mental Fitness. If you are ready, I am ready and able to help you, write and live your story. Get in touch if you want to find out more about Mental Fitness and positive intelligence and how it can help you achieve the life you want and write your story in which you are the main character, the love of your life, the heroine. It would be a pleasure to help you

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