MAKE IT HAPPEN: Selina Barker’s Tips
Life coach Selina Barker gives us her top tips for making your dreams a reality
By 
Psychologies
- Don’t set goals Don’t call it a goal. Goals can seem like distant, pipe dreams. Instead, turn your goal into a fun project. Projects are more practical and doable. They happen today rather than one day, some day, maybe. It’s also good to set an end date for this project. This can be the day you have a celebration of what you’ve achieved so far.
- Scrap the ‘to-do’ list Presenting yourself with a list of things you should do can really zap your energy. Instead, dedicate a time each week to doing a specific task. That could mean dedicating Thursday afternoon or 20 minutes each day to one task. Having scheduled times to work will also stop you saying ‘oh I didn’t get around to doing that today.’
- Enjoy what you’re doing Often people are seduced by the idea of achieving something. For example, you might say you want to write a book. Ask yourself why it is you want to write a book. Often people imagine it up there on the bookshelves but when they think about it, they realise they hate the whole process of writing. It’s a cliché, but it’s the journey not the destination. Ask yourself am I enjoying this?
- Don’t be too specific If this really is important to you, but you’re not enjoying the process of achieving it, think about other, more enjoyable ways you can get there. If you want to write a book about caring for blind dogs, but you can’t stand writing, you could make videos. As long as what you really want to do is at the heart of it, you can allow your project to evolve. Playing to achieve the final point is really important. That way, even if you don’t reach it, you’ve learnt something and had fun.
- Don’t do it alone Asking others for help and support right from the start makes a big difference. Tell at least one supportive person what your intention is. Some people use their blogs – declaring it publically online means you’re more likely to do it.
- Look at the areas you’re not confident about achieving Can you get training in these areas? Can a friend help you out? We’re reluctant to ask for help, we want to do it alone, but you are much more likely to achieve with a little assistance. You’d be surprised, if you asked for a hand, how many people are willing to help you out.
- Be kind to yourself The biggest obstacle that people come up against is ‘you’. We have a tendency to be our own taskmasters, to be hard on ourselves, to demand ridiculous levels of perfectionism and to set goals that actually set us up to fail. Often what we’re really out to do is prove to ourselves that we’re not good enough to have what we want. Practice being kind to yourself, it makes you more effective. If you’re not feeling in the mood for work on a Thursday, cheer yourself up with some music.
