Do you feel that you’re not enough?

What does it mean to feel good enough? Does the negative voice in your head run your life? Maybe it’s there in the background, like a snarky radio commentator, criticising your every move, reminding you how hopeless you are at small talk, and Zumba, and pretty much everything else. It fixates on your shortcomings, on how you are (and never will be) good enough


Do you feel that you're not enough?

Sound familiar?

What would happen if you found a new way of relating to your inner critic? How would life change if, once and for all, you felt good enough?

That’s exactly what we’re exploring here at The Enough Experiment, a new, digital twelve-month column at Psychologies with coach Mandy Lehto.

Each month, we’ll focus on a particular theme, and conduct an experiment to see if we can feel better about ourselves in that aspect of our lives. Small changes add up over twelve months.

I’ll coach you around becoming an “aspiring good-enoughist” – Brené Brown’s wonderful phrase – and I’ll experiment right alongside you.

We’ll be supported by experts on short, informative videos (about 5 min), and we’ll dig deeper with questions and prompts from the monthly downloadable, printable worksheet (no more than 15 min).

You’re encouraged to share your questions, discoveries and experiences on The Life Leap club on Facebook, where I’ll be offering support.

The real power of this experiment isn’t what happens in the videos or the worksheets. It’s in how you implement your findings in day to day life.

Let’s begin!

Your Starter Experiment:

What does it mean to feel good enough?

Step 1:

In your journal, write about a time you felt good enough. Delve into the detail. Bullet points are fine. What were the circumstances? Who was there? How did it feel? Be specific.

Think about two other such instances. Again, delve into the detail.

Now take a moment to reflect. What do those moments have in common? Again, bullet points are fine.

These are clues of what enoughness feels like for you. Start paying attention to new moments as they emerge and keep adding to your list.

My list includes:

·      I felt fully accepted

·      I wasn’t worried about being judged

·      I didn’t have to impress anyone

·      I felt ok not having the answer

·      I felt connected to something bigger than myself

·      I was helping someone

·      I felt grateful

Step 2:

Give yourself a score from 1 to 10 of where you currently fall on the good enough spectrum.

I’d invite you to pause before choosing the number 7. It can be a place to hide. But go ahead if that feels right.

Make a note of your score for now and keep adding to your list this month.

Step 3:

Find the downloadable, printable list to explore what might be getting in the way of you feeling good enough.

Head over The Life Leap club on Facebook to see what we’re up to there.

Next time: “Self” 

I’m looking forward to introducing you to our first expert, Hazel Gale, former athlete, now a best-selling author and Master Practitioner of Cognitive Hypnotherapy who works with Olympic athletes, creatives and professionals. Join us!

Watch the video:

Downloadable handout:

What stops you from feeling good enough? Which statements most closely apply to you? Download the worksheet below to find out more and see for yourself.

Image: Getty/iStock.