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Where (and When) Do You Really Come Alive?

In truth, the place you feel most alive, most connected, is the place you are going to really shine. When you shine, people will be drawn towards you.

Where (and when) do you really come alive?

Here are a few great questions:

  • Where and when do you feel most alive?
  • Where and when do you feel you connect with others most effectively?
  • Do you ever experience a state of flow? (when you are so absorbed in a task that you are unaware of time passing) If so, what is it you do that transports you into that state of being?

Take a moment to figure out honest answers. Why is this self-knowledge so important? The answers provide the clues you need to select the right place to share what you do best.

A lot of people really struggle to find the right platform(s) for self-promotion. There’s a pressure (much of it driven by people who want our money in return for ‘advice’) to conform to the widely promoted belief that you’ve got to perform well across a wide range of different platforms – Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Instagram – the list goes on! Unless you have a lot of time and a very high degree of skill in this area, or the money to outsource the problem, it can be a major cause of stress and confusion. Social media anxiety, for want of a better name! 

In truth, the place you feel most alive, most connected, is the place you are going to really shine. When you shine, people will be drawn towards you. 

Coming alive does not necessarily equate to being loud, brash or highly visible. Plenty of writers and musicians ply their trade in a darkened room or in the middle of the night. But they create works of unimaginable power and beauty – and that is what counts. Where, then, can you create powerful or beautiful things? Where, then, can you place them in front of others in the most meaningful way?

Think about the following questions and answer honestly. You should find some answers to where you really ‘belong’ in terms of your own promotional efforts.

1. Do you get a buzz from speaking to people in person? It doesn’t matter initially whether this is one to one or one to many – this is a skill that can be developed despite the fears. It’s also the number one ‘connector’ of people. Your audience is much more likely to connect with your story if they are in the same room.

2. What about video? This is the number two  connector and that’s exactly why all the social media companies are promoting their ‘story’ features. It doesn’t always have to be a talking head – you could narrate video that shows some the things you do, work in progress or that explains your product or service. You just need to make sure that it has a touch of you in it. But please no animated slideshares or powerpoint. That’s just too impersonal to create the bond you need.

3. Are you good with spoken word? if so, creating audio in the form of podcasts can be really powerful – for a slice of your audience at least. Podcasts listeners may devour your message in this form and ignore other things you do. The benefit for a quiet person of course is that you can record a podcast whilst sitting in a peaceful place on your own. No need to expose yourself in real time.

4. Are you good with written word? A well-written, well-illustrated blog can be a powerful thing. If you get excited about writing and watching as other people like and share your content, this could be the place for you.

Many well known people build an awesome reputation despite the fact that they rarely see the light of day.

Think about this. Isn’t it just obvious when someone is posting because they feel they ought to, rather than because they are sharing an idea they feel inspired by – and hope it will inspire you too? If we do stuff just because we feel we ought to, it really shows. It leaks out. Others notice. Better then to direct your efforts toward stuff you really believe in, even if you post less frequently and in fewer places. Then, you will look like you really mean what you say and the energy and commitment in your efforts will shine through.

Best wishes – Pete

Need some help in getting started? I offer 1-1 support to people to want to be coached through issues around confident self-promotion. I do a one hour 1-1 Skype/phone masterclass with accompanying checklists – which will help sort your ideas and get off to a great start.

My second book, The Art of Shouting Quietly, was self published and crowdfunded. The campaign was oversubscribed and I sold the book in 15 countries before I’d finished writing it. There are lots of ways to get noticed now. I wonder which might suit you?

You can email me here


Pete Mosley PCC

Pete Mosley PCC


I work with quiet, thoughtful and purpose-driven individuals to help build confidence in both life and work, for example by supporting them to find a voice, speak up, pitch or talk in public without feeling intimidated by louder voices. As a reflective person myself, I'm drawn towards working with others who find the cut and thrust of everyday life to be a challenge. I also help business owners work out how to promote themselves and build an audience for their work. I'm a graduate of the acclaimed Barefoot Postgraduate Certificate in Business & Personal Coaching, and I now teach for Barefoot. My book - The Art of Shouting Quietly - a guide to self-promotion for introverts and other quiet souls – has sold in 25 countries around the world. I'm very experienced - I have 15 years of track record as a mentor in the Creative Industries prior to training as a coach in 2008. Please don't hesitate to get in touch - I'm always happy to talk with you about coaching/mentoring on the phone - with no obligation.

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