Diagnosis…you have a ‘pleasing people’ driver…
Whenever a client learns this they seem to want to take a long hot soak and wash away the ‘shame’ of putting others first. They recall all the times they have tried to please others and were unappreciated and hurt by people that took advantage. There is an overwhelming association that this makes them a pushover and they will not be pushed over again now they know.
To all of the people pleasers out there… thank goodness for you! Thank you for putting others first and being the glue that holds groups of people together. Thank you for including everyone and seeking our opinions. Thank you for pleasing people and please do not stop.
Embrace it, be it, own it.
Learn to use this to your advantage and don’t waste this skill on the wrong people, or better still, learn to do it for yourself because that is who you are; removing any expectations from others.
If you caught last night’s Apprentice, it showed people pleasing puts you at an advantage. The team that took the time to please the artists and got to know them, found that everyone wanted to work with them, unlike the other group that just talked numbers – they did not make that personal connection. However, we have also seen in previous weeks where the project manager is a people pleaser and they keep asking others opinions and never make a decision – don’t be that guy – know when to tap into your collaborative mode and when to be self confident and make that decision.
You’ve got this people pleaser, proudly go forth and never be ashamed of your skill!