Most of us are good at giving advice and support to others but we often find it difficult to expose our own vulnerability and to ask for help ourselves, even though it may be holding us back. Our culture has made us feel that going it alone is something we should be able to do and as a consequence we can be fearful of appearing vulnerable or weak by asking for help.
Looking at what is holding you back and finding the courage to share your fears or problems can be difficult and overwhelming at times. Maybe you are afraid of exposing your vulnerability because it makes you feel you are putting yourself out there to be judged or to be seen as a lesser person. Trying to be perfect and appearing to be managing everything to the outside world can be stressful and exhausting. By not being open and honest about how you really feel can mean that you are giving the wrong impressions to other people. Non of this is really helping as you are appearing brave and confident on the outside whilst you are scared on the inside. This isn’t being resilient. In fact it’s the complete opposite. Building resilience will come from being open, honest and accepting of your limitations, flaws and weaknesses. If you accept the challenges and changes that you experience in your life, both good and bad, and use the learning from those experiences and find the help you need, you can bounce back, recover and go again even stronger than before. Resilient people realise that to be successful they can’t do it alone and will ask others for support, advice and encouragement.
You may be fearful of speaking to your family, friends or colleagues about issues that concern you or that are hindering your progress because they are scared of the outcomes. When you feel supported in a safe environment to talk about your vulnerabilities and fears it will enable you to make great strides in your life. When you lower your protective shield and are brave enough to be who you really are, and to say what you truly feel, you can ask for help. It isn’t easy to do but the benefits of being your authentic self will enable you to build your confidence and start to take risks, begin new things and set new boundaries, knowing you don’t have to do it all alone. Courage is infectious and sharing your vulnerability will allow others to follow suit and build their resilience.
Being open and honest and learning to ask for help will transform your life, allowing you to explore your potential and live the life you want. At the same time building your resilience and knowing you are loved and accepted for who you are, flaws and all.
If you are finding it difficult to show your vulnerability, maybe over an issue to do with work or your personal life, why not take some time to think about what’s holding you back and who you could ask for help and support.